


we'll get lost together

by neo_gotmyback



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Crushes, Fluff, Friendship, Jealousy, Like all fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Self-Esteem Issues, insecure Ten, kunten are exes, ten thinks johnny is the best but has crippling self esteem issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25989958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neo_gotmyback/pseuds/neo_gotmyback
Summary: "So even when the class had ended, and they had gone back to not really interacting much, Ten’s disgusting crush had remained, fueled by Johnny smiling at him so bright it could rival the sun when they ran into each other at parties and how genuinely kind and wonderful he seemed to be. (The ridiculous height and the rumored six pack didn’t hurt either.)And now, he was going on a trip to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with very few buffers and Ten just knew he was going to make a fool of himself and reveal his massive, stupid crush."
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Lee Taeyong, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Qian Kun, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 123





	we'll get lost together

Ten could feel the sweat beading at his temples already, the hot sun beating down on his head. He pulled off his hat, running his hands through his already sweaty hair, then checked the time on his phone.

He flicked absentmindedly through his instagram stories one more time, barely registering the video after video of end of finals ragers and stressed out captions over aesthetic pictures of their school library. It looked like Yuta was flying home for break– that was good, he could use the time to relax. Ah, and there was another passive aggressive post from the dance captain reminding people to practice over break, which was a solid effort but ultimately wasted on college students.

Instagram couldn’t distract him from the heat anymore. His face was starting to feel sticky.

“Taeyong,” he whined, stretching out the last syllable of his best friend’s name until he looked over. “Why are we waiting outside in the middle of the afternoon, it is way too hot for this!”

He was standing in the early spring heat flash, gripping his suitcase with one hand as he scanned the road for Doyoung’s car. Jaehyun and Doyoung were taking way too long to find it, in his opinion, and he wanted get his spring break started as soon as possible.

Someone had found an open AirBnB reservation at some cabin on a lake that was somehow within the budget of a group of broke college students and didn’t have any bad reviews. They were bringing alcohol and shitty movies and the weather was supposed to be good enough to go swimming. After the stress brought on by this round of finals, Ten needed this.

Taeyong grinned at him, full force and dazzling in a way only he could pull off. “He’ll be here soon, Tennie, relax.”

“Call your boyfriend and tell him to hurry up,” Ten said, dodging the smack Taeyong aimed at him.

“Stop calling him that, oh my god Ten–” Taeyong hissed, halfheartedly chasing Ten around their bags.

Ten and Taeyong’s relationship had been built of being the only two boys in their dance classes as awkward fourteen year olds, and had only escalated when they became roommates at university.

They had, held each other through tears and heartbreaks and school related anxiety attacks, and they knew each other better than they knew anything. Which was why Ten knew Taeyong had a massive thing for Doyoung, despite denying it to all hell.

Doyoung’s car pulled up just as Ten had grabbed Taeyong’s wrists and Taeyong had decided to retaliate by flailing his legs around wildly in Ten’s general direction.

“What, did Ten start being annoying already?” Jaehyun asked, sounding amused.

Ten flipped him off. “What the hell took you so long?” he yelled towards the driver’s seat. “You left us out here to melt.”

Doyoung jumped out of the passenger seat, grinning his gummy smile. “It’s not that hot, calm down. We just went to go pick up drinks and get Johnny.”

Ten blinked, freezing. “What?”

He turned towards the passenger seat, where he found _him_ – Johnny Seo, the 6 foot 2 bastard smiling sheepishly at him, the person known to Taeyong as the only boy to ever make Ten this flustered.

Ten turned his betrayed gaze towards his supposed best friend.

“Oh, I knew I forgot to tell you something!” Taeyong said, smiling a little too devious to be genuinely sorry. “Johnny’s coming with us! You don’t mind, right?”

Johnny got out of the car, walking towards Ten like he knew that he was absolutely terrified. “Sorry it took so long!”

Ten almost choked on air. “Oh, no, no I don’t mind! It’s fine, I just need to get out of the sun like right now. Taeyong, can we talk?”

Ten didn’t wait for an answer, instead dragging Taeyong by the elbow some ways away from the van as Doyoung and Jaehyun figured out how to fit their bags in the trunk with the rest of the supplies they were brining with them.

“Really?” Ten hissed as soon as they were out of earshot. “Johnny Seo?”

Taeyong grinned back. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. You’re friends, right?”

Ten gritted his teeth, checking over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking at them. “You know what I mean.”

“What, you wanted to get pretty for him? Don’t worry, you’re naturally cute.” Taeyong said, trying to pinch Ten’s cheek.

“Shut up, I cannot believe you betrayed me like this,” Ten said, batting Taeyong’s hand away from his face and turning back towards the group standing around the car, pasting a smile on his face.

Ten has had a big, embarrassing gay crush on Johnny Seo for almost a year now. They’d known each other in passing for longer, meeting casually at Jaehyun’s house or through his acquaintance with Doyoung. He’d seen how good looking he was then too, of course– over six feet tall with really nice arms, of course Ten had noticed. But he hadn’t really paid it any notice until they met in that godforsaken Asian American studies class Ten had to take to pass his social humanities credit.

Ten had walked into the 8 am lecture, eyes bleary and drinking coffee like it was the elixir of life, his hoodie at least two sizes too big and swallowing his frame. Johnny had waved him over, smiling amiably and looking far too awake for the time.

Ten, just happy to find a vaguely familiar face, sank into the seat next to him, then leaned over to fish around for his glasses from his backpack. He’d slid them onto his nose and turned to look up at Johnny (and he meant look up, holy shit he was tall), and the boy had given him an absolutely blinding grin in return. He was pretty sure that was the moment he started falling.

Over the course of the absolutely hellish class, which met three times a week at 8 am and had a professor who refused to properly record her lectures, Ten fell a little bit deeper every day. Because Johnny was smart, clearly one of the few people to have done the readings and be awake enough to process the discussion questions the professor was throwing out.

Ten found out that Johnny was studying child psychology and wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and that he was taking this class to fulfill the requirements too but had actually preferred a morning class because he woke up early anyways to work out, and that he was hypothetically strong enough to pick Ten up in the middle of making out and slam him against the wall.

Well, that last one was pure speculation on Ten’s part, but still, he was pretty sure it was true.

Johnny had listened to Ten rambling about his dance major, had never asked the ever present condescending “what are you doing to do with that once you graduate?” and seemed genuinely interested in hearing that Ten wanted to dance professionally but worked as a dance teacher for some extra cash now, and had even asked if there were any performances he could come watch.

So even when the class had ended, and they had gone back to not really interacting much, Ten’s disgusting crush had remained, fueled by Johnny smiling at him so bright it could rival the sun when they ran into each other at parties and how genuinely kind and wonderful he seemed to be. (The ridiculous height and the rumored six pack didn’t hurt either.)

And now, he was going on a trip to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with very few buffers and Ten just knew he was going to make a fool of himself and reveal his massive, stupid crush.

Ten avoided looking at Johnny when he made it back to the car, instead looking at Doyoung. “Are we ready to go, or do you have more surprises for me?”

Doyoung smiled, his little bunny face hiding how devious he was, just like Taeyong’s angelic smiles and face hid how much he lived to make Ten suffer. “Maybe another one, but I promise, you’ll like this one.”

“Oh come on!” Ten said, his pitch maybe getting closer to a whine than he’d like to admit.

“Is Ten whining already?” A voice came from behind him, and Ten wheeled around, already gasping, because he would have recognized that voice anywhere.

“Kunkun!” Ten said, launching himself into his friend’s arms for a very enthusiastic hug. “When the hell did you get back?”

Kun laughed, familiar and comforting. He’d missed hearing it in person for the year and a half Kun and been studying abroad. “I landed two days ago. I was going to surprise you yesterday but Doyoung said it would be more fun if I just showed up on this trip.”

Ten detached himself from Kun, still grinning. “Well maybe Doyoung has good ideas sometimes.” He said with a sniff.

“Hey, I’m the one who came up with the plan for this whole trip!” Doyoung said, but his protests fell on deaf ears as Taeyong came running to give Kun a quick hug too.

Kun and Ten had been neighbors as kids, and in high school they had been just as close to him as Doyoung and Taeyong. In high school, Kun had been so smart, so sweet, with cute dimples and a soft voice and bad jokes. Kun had been his first crush, and his first boyfriend, and though he didn’t have feelings for him anymore, it still always felt amazing to see him in person.

Group facetimes never felt the same as seeing his friend in person.

“How long are you here for?” Taeyong asked eagerly, just as excited to see Kun. He’d missed him too.

“I’m here for good, now. My immersion program ended early, so I’ll have to fly back to get my degree, but otherwise, I’ve basically graduated.” Kun said, only to be tackled by Doyoung, Taeyong, and Ten, with varying mixtures of excitement and betrayal at not being told what was going on.

“Um–” Jaehyun said, sounding a little bit awkward as he reached his hand towards Kun. “Hi, I’m Jaehyun. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Kun said, smiling brightly before moving on to Johnny. “Hey, I’m Kun.”

There was a bit of a pause, before Johnny reached out his hands, the expression on his face indecipherable. “Hi, I’m Johnny.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about both of you! It’s great to finally meet you.” Kun said, and Ten had to make sure his face wasn’t burning because of course Kun had been informed about Johnny, and of course he was going to try to embarrass him immediately.

Johnny smiled at that, though not as brightly as before and Ten frowned a bit, trying to meet his eyes. “Thanks, I hope it was all good?” Johnny laughed, and maybe Ten was imagining things because no one else seemed to notice that his laugh sounded just a little bit forced.

* * *

Ten had never been an awkward person, exactly. He’d always been loud, a little bit too much at times, or so he’d been informed in high school.

He never had problems striking up conversation with random strangers at parties who gave him a look, and had never been ashamed of how he talked, direct and a little bit too blunt.

Most of the time, he never let himself be deterred, letting rude comments about his bitchy nature and loud laugh fuel his righteous anger. He wasn’t going to let anyone tell him how to behave, and he had his friends to affirm that.

But the air in this car was so awkward and he felt like he was suffocating under it. This was worse than that time Doyoung had signed up to mentor that freshman Renjun and had spent the entire session trailing off into dead silence. (That incident had been resolved three sessions later, and Renjun was now shaping up to be very terrifying successor to Doyoung.)

Ten tried to keep up his conversation with Kun, asking about all the details of his life he’d forgotten to share over video call. He tried to talk to Johnny too, but he seemed distracted or tired, not answering like he normally would.

Ten felt the anxiety building under his skin, running through their conversation to see if something was wrong, or if he’d messed up somehow.

When they all piled out of the car at the rest stop, Ten loitered around the car while Jaehyun and Johnny filled up the gas tank.

Ten breathed out, trying to exhale his nerves as he approached Johnny, bumping his shoulder lightly then looking up to his face. “Hey.”

Johnny smiled– a real, bright smile– and Ten relaxed somewhat. “What’s up?”

“I– I just noticed, that– are you okay? Did something happen, or like. Did someone say something?” Ten asked, stumbling over his words. _Was I too much?_ he wanted to ask. _Did I scare you off?_

“Oh, no, oh my god don’t worry!” Johnny said hurriedly, resting his hand on Ten’s shoulder. “I’m just– a little tired, is all. Too many all nighters for finals.” He said, reassuring.

Ten leaned into Johnny’s hand a littler bit, letting himself indulge in the feeling for just a little bit. “You should take better care of yourself.” he murmured, smiling up at Johnny regardless.

Johnny laughed. “Says you.”

Ten mock frowned, swatting at Johnny’s side. “I am a perfectly functioning human being, thank you very much. I can still put my leg over my head, which is all my dance captains seem to care about.”

There was a bit of a pause before Johnny coughed nervously. “Right, well– you should still eat better.”

There was a yell from Doyoung about heading out, and Ten startled, heading towards the car with Johnny. His phone vibrated with a text and he pulled it out.

_Kun: you’re so obvious oh my god this is so funny_

Ten typed out his response furiously before pocketing his phone and climbing into the car, shooting Kun a dirty glare.

_Ten: SHUT UP_

* * *

By the time their car had pulled up by the frankly adorable cabin by the lake, it was around 6, the sun starting to sink lower in the sky.

“Oh, wow Doie it’s so cute here!” Taeyong exclaimed, delighted by the inside of the cabin. “I’m so glad you managed to find it.”

“Thank you, Taeyong,” Doyoung said, glaring pointedly at Ten, who ignored him. If no one made fun of Doyoung, he would become too powerful, and Ten couldn’t let that happen. Plus it was really easy to annoy him.

“Are we grilling today?” Taeyong asked, excitedly eyeing the tools Johnny was bringing out of the trunk of the car.

“If everyone’s feeling up to it?” Doyoung asked, glancing around at the group.

“I will never say no to being fed meat.” Ten said with a shrug.

“That’s because you’re just going to hang around being annoying and not helping until it’s ready anyways.” Doyoung said, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t know if that’s a bad thing– less of a chance of us burning the house down.” Kun laughed.

“Oh come on, I’m not that bad!” Ten said. Then he paused, reviewing the recent incident where he’d tried to bake a cake in a ceramic bowl, which had then shattered in the oven and almost set his oven on fire. In his defense, no one had told him he couldn’t do that. “Well, okay, I’m not as bad as I was in high school.”

“A very low bar.” Kun said, matter of factly.

“Rude.” Ten said, not sounding offended in the slightest.

“I’m not great at cooking either but you can help me and Jae set up the barbecue if you want?” Johnny asked, sounded unsure.

Ten looked over at Johnny, who was watching him hesitantly. “Oh, um– sure?”

What he meant was “I’m too short and don’t have enough upper body strength to lift things properly but I will never turn down the chance to watch you carry heavy things and hang out with you in general.” But that would have been embarrassing.

He followed Johnny and Jaehyun outside to the little patio, ignoring the little smirk Taeyong threw him, and eyeing the equipment with apprehension.

“Ten, can you pick up that piece and bring it over here?” Johnny asked, confident and assured that he knew what he was doing. Ten was assuredly less so. That piece was made of metal. It looked heavy.

“Um–“ Ten said, and Johnny turned to look at him. Ten blinked up at him, trying to look pitiful and cute, a trick he learned from Taeyong’s sparkling anime eyes. “I don’t know which one you mean.”

Johnny stared, face curiously blank, before blinking at Ten. “There’s only one?” He asked hesitantly.

Ten dropped the eyes, pouting a bit instead. “Okay fine, I’m just weak and don’t want to carry things so I’m just going to watch and provide moral support okay?”

Johnny laughed at that, moving around to pick up the part he’d pointed out. “What kind of moral support?”

Ten brightened, glad that Johnny wasn’t about to force him to lift heavy objects. “What do you need? I think I’d make a great cheerleader, since I can do the splits. I can also offer finger hearts, maybe? Whichever you’d prefer.”

“You’d rather be a cheerleader than pick up some bags?” Johnny said, skeptical.

“Abso-fucking-lutly,” Ten said, smirking. He made finger hearts and blew them towards Johnny and Jaehyun. “Thank you for your service.”

Johnny laughed again, bending to pick up the bags of coal for the barbecue. Ten let his eyes linger, watching the muscles in his arms flex deliciously.

“Ten!” Someone called from inside the house. “I assume you’re not actually helping so come inside and do something for us?”

The voice jerked him out of his thoughts and he retraced his steps into the house, yelling “Fuck you Taeyong, I was too helping!” as he went.

“Don’t lie, we could hear everything,” Taeyong said, rolling his eyes when Ten comes into view of the kitchen, where the him, Doyoung, and Kun were preparing the meat for grilling.

“Should have just told him you’d kiss him if he did a good job, I think it would have been just as subtle,” Doyoung said, laughing.

“Shut up, it was joke,” Ten answered, glaring at the amused smirk on Doyoung’s face.

“Why don’t you just tell him you want to make out?” Kun asked, matter of fact and straight to the point. “Seems to work well for you. Take the tray of meat out with you?”

“Yeah, that works well for hookups. I don’t– well, I want more than that.” Ten sighed, reaching over the counter to pick up the tray.

“Then ask for more,” Kun said, as if everything was that simple. Well, maybe it was– if he wanted, he could ask, but why ask for more when he knew what answer he would get?

* * *

The thing is, Ten knew he wasn’t unattractive. He’d been picked up at enough shitty college parties to know that. He’s been told he’s attractive.

But he’s not attractive in the way, say, Taeyong is attractive. Taeyong, who gets flowers handed shyly to him, cute handwritten confessions, who makes people blush by smiling and complimenting their new haircut.

Ten gets pushed into the mattress or against the wall, hands strong and hot on his body, he gets pleasure and heat and that’s all wonderful. He’s not going to lie and say it hurts when he sees people draw their eyes over his body, or when people call him sexy or hot.

But sometimes, he wants someone to give him sweet notes and flowers and hold his hand before kissing him.

Some days, he looks at Taeyong, his angelic face and beautiful smile and eyes that sparkle like the stars and wonders what it would be like to live as him. To live knowing you are so adored by everyone around you.

And god maybe he was being overdramatic and stupid but he wanted someone to look at him like he was the whole world, like he was worth keeping around forever, someone who never saw him as too much but instead as just enough.

Ugh, feelings. Feelings were gross.

Ten focused on the drink in his hand, taking another sip, worried about getting too tipsy too fast.

The food had been delicious, the combined cooking skills of Doyoung, Kun, and Taeyong and their tendency to feed people like an anxious grandmothers left him full and satisfied.

Then Doyoung had brought out the alcohol, so Ten was nursing a drink, wrapped up in a hoodie to counter the slight chill from over the lake, watching the last of the color drain from the sky.

Taeyong was, of course, already tipsy, because his alcohol tolerance couldn’t even hold up to half a glass of cheap wine, so he had no chance. Of course, Taeyong being drunk meant he got even cuter somehow, smiling at everyone and everything and pushing himself into Ten’s chair to wrap his hands around his shoulders. Ten used his free hand to pet his hair, and Taeyong made a contented noise.

“Yeah, he’s just like this.” Doyoung was explaining. “He gets all clingy and cute, and then he gets sleepy. Ten’s not much better honestly, he’ll probably be tipsy soon.”

Ten looked up to glare at Doyoung. “I am not that bad, don’t make fun of me!” He took another drink, deeper this time, just to spite Doyoung.

“You get to take care of your own hangover then.” Kun said, probably re-living how much of an absolute nightmare Ten had been hungover when they were in high school. Kun could suck it, he was so much better now!

“Tennie!” Taeyong said suddenly. “I’m bored, come on let’s dance!”

He stood up out of Ten’s hold and Ten wanted to whine at the loss of contact. “Come on, everyone? It’ll be fun!”

“Oh hell no,” Doyoung said immediately. “I know what you and Ten are like, you just want to show off.”

Taeyong pouted, an expression which on his face should be classified as a deadly weapon, considering how quickly it can get people to crumble to dust. “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

Ten sighed, eyeing his drink, then quickly draining the glass. He suppressed a wince at the taste, then stood up, grabbing Taeyong by the hips and spinning him back around to face him. “Ignore him, Yongie, I’ll dance with you. Doyoung dances like a beached octopus trying to find its way back to the ocean.”

Doyoung put his drink down to flip him off with both hands. Ten ignored him, turning to look at Jaehyun and Johnny. “One of you, play something good.”

The first beats of a song Ten didn’t recognize started playing, and he grinned, pulling Taeyong closer to him with a jerk. Taeyong shrieked, then giggled, the alcohol making him go with the flow and forget to feel self conscious of their audience.

They started moving their hips to the music, Taeyong still giggling, and Ten just let himself move. Dancing was fun for him, it always had been. He let the drink he’d downed lose his limbs and just let himself dance.

He heard Doyoung pretending to gag and Kun and Jaehyun catcalling obnoxiously, and he just smiled wider, spinning Taeyong around with one hand.

He could feel someone’s eyes burning into him, and he didn’t dare turn and look, but the gaze prickled across his shoulders and he felt like it might have been Johnny.

By the time the playlist ended, he was well on his way to tipsy and was giggling alongside Taeyong.

He laughed with them as the group cheered, someone’s wolf whistling seeming to ring in his ear.

Johnny– where was Johnny?

“Johnny!” Ten called, spinning in a circle to try and see him. He overestimated his balance on the turn and wobbled, letting out a small sound of fear as he felt himself start to fall.

“Whoa, steady!” Large, warm hands caught him around the waist, steadying him on his feet. Ten turned to face Johnny, who quickly took his hands off his waist and sat back down.

Ten frowned, looking at Johnny. “Did I do I good job?”

Johnny laughed. “Yeah, you did. You’re a great dancer, really.”

Ten brightened. Johnny liked his dancing! That was good.

He sat down near Johnny’s chair, leaning against his long legs. “Thank you! You’re always so nice to me, I love that.”

Johnny’s breath had hitched audibly when Ten leaned against him, and Ten contemplated moving, but decided he liked sitting here, so he didn’t move.

“I like you a lot,” Ten said, continuing to mumble. “You’re so nice and really tall. You’re great.”

Johnny didn’t respond, and Ten frowned. That wasn’t nice. He wanted Johnny to kiss him.

Kun! He should go talk to Kun instead. “Kunkun!” Ten said getting up and sliding into the same seat Kun was already sitting in. “Did I do a good job?”

Kun pet his hair and laughed too. “Yeah, you did great.”

Ten smiled, leaning into Kun, and tried to ignore the way Johnny was frowning slightly in their direction.

* * *

When Ten managed to pry his eyes open, he groaned, trying to blink the sun out of his eyes. He sat up, bleary-eyed, trying to figure out where exactly he was.

It seems through the course of the night, he and Taeyong had been moved to the couch for the night, because Taeyong was still sleeping deeply next to him. He squinted at the clock in the living room. It was about eight, which was way too early to be waking up the night after he’d been drinking.

His hangover wasn’t as bad as he’d been expecting, though. He had vague memories of someone pressing water into his hand and making him drink it, and was eternally grateful. Still, he wouldn’t have woken up this early on his own, the culprit being whoever was making clattering noises in the kitchen.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Ten said. Johnny startled a little from where he was standing at the open fridge door, turning to look at Ten and flashing him a grin when he saw who it was.

“I can’t really,” Johnny said, sheepish. “I just know everyone’s going to be hungover and grumpy so I thought I’d try to at least have coffee or something ready.”

“You could do that,” Ten said, grinning wickedly. “Or you could let them fend for themselves and laugh about it.”

“You’re kind of an asshole, did you know?” Johnny asked, laughing to make it clear he wasn’t meaning to be at all malicious with he comment.

Ten brushed imaginary lint off his clothes nonchalantly. “I know. It’s what makes me charming.”

Johnny smirked. “Well, if we want to let them fend for themselves, want to go down to the lake without them?”

“That’s the spirit!” Ten smirked right back. “I’ll go change and meet you there in five.”

Ten grabbed his bag from where it was left by the door, rifling through it for his swim trunks and heading to the bathroom.

He changed out of his clothes, way too happy and giddy for the time of morning.

He straightened up, catching sight of himself in the mirror. He wasn’t self conscious, exactly– his body was nice enough, and held been shirtless on stage enough that he wasn’t really shy about it anymore.

But this felt different. Johnny was tall and clearly worked out and Ten just felt so small and unremarkable next to him. And the tattoo would be on full display, though that was one thing he was quite proud of.

He sighed, turning to leave the bathroom. It wasn’t like he could back out of this now.

He opened the back door of the cabin, taking the small path that led down to the waterfront. Johnny was already there, and he turned to look at Ten as he approached, pulling off the dark sunglasses he was wearing.

And– damn. Johnny Seo was really fucking hot. Not like he hadn’t already known it, but here, standing in the morning light with his arms and chest on full display, Ten couldn’t stop staring, arms crossing over his chest unconsciously.

He knew he should probably make the way his eyes were roving over Johnny’s body much less obvious but the man had abs, and Ten was using all his brainpower trying to not think about licking them.

He snapped his eyes up to Johnny’s face, hoping his blush wasn’t that obvious. Johnny was looking at his chest and Ten looked back down, wondering what he found so interesting.

“I– is that a tattoo?” Johnny asked.

Ten blinked, uncrossing his arms. “Oh, um– yeah. Designed it myself.”

“It’s gorgeous,” Johnny said appreciatively.

Ten grinned. He was quite proud of the tattoo. “Thanks. I had a scar here from when I was younger,” he brushed his fingertips over the raised skin on his chest. “So I designed something to cover it up.”

Johnny seemed to follow the movements of Ten’s fingers with his eyes before looking back up at him with a smile. “That’s amazing, you’re really talented, Ten.”

And here was the problem, because not only was Johnny standing in front of him with his beautiful arms and his damn abs, he was unfailingly kind and sweet to Ten, talking like he really cared, and said his name like _that_ with his beautiful smile.

He forced himself to look away, walking towards the edge of the water instead. When the water hit his feet, he made a small squeak of surprise. “Johnny the water is so cold!”

Johnny had the audacity to laugh. “Just go in deeper, you’ll get used to it soon!”

Ten gaped at him. “Absolutely not, you go in and I’ll watch from here.”

“Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” Johnny grinned wickedly as he got closer. “Here, let me help.”

Ten shrieked when a wave of water splashed up by Johnny’s hand hit him, throwing up his hands to cover his face. Johnny only laughed at him, as Ten tried to blow his now damp hair out of his face.

“Okay that is it–” Ten said, dodging the next splash of water Johnny sent his way.

He went deeper into the lake, trying to kick water towards Johnny as he went, the water come up to about Ten’s waist at this point. Ten bit his lip, trying to figure how to get one over on Johnny. An idea came to him, and he made his way to where Johnny was standing, trying to keep his expression innocent.

Johnny turned to him, still laughing. “See, I told you you’d get used to it!”

Ten stuck his tongue out at him childishly, even though he was technically right. Then, when he was close enough, he hooked his ankle around Johnny's leg, pulling towards him. Johnny was successfully caught off guard and tripped, falling into he water with a splash. The part Ten had not anticipated was Johnny reaching towards him for balance, leading to Ten falling in next to him.

“Oh my god, you suck, you’re the worst.” Ten gasped, spitting out lake water. Johnny sat comfortably, laughing at Ten.

“You brought this on yourself,” Johnny said with a shrug.

“You’re still the worst,” Ten grumbled.

“If you insist,” Johnny said, and Ten didn’t think anything of it until he felt Johnny’s hands around his waist, lifting him out of the water.

“Johnny Seo!” Ten shrieked at the top of his lungs, kicking his legs around to no avail. Johnny was too strong and in any other situation Ten would have taken the time to appreciate how easily he’s been able to lift him. “Put me down oh my god!”

“Hm, nope.” Johnny said. Ten couldn’t help but giggling, even as he flailed around wildly.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” A voice called faintly from behind them. Both Johnny and Ten froze, Ten recognizing Kun's voice coming from where he was standing with Doyoung on the patio of their cabin.

Johnny put him down gently, and Ten secretly mourned the loss. Sue him, it felt nice to be carried in your crush’s strong arms.

Kun squinted at them, then laughed. “Nevermind, carry on.”

But the energy surrounding them had grown awkward, and Ten looked up at Johnny, who was standing stiffly next to him. “Let’s just– let’s go inside? We can come back with everyone else when they’re ready, since they’re up already.”

Johnny nodded, wading back out of the water with Ten and heading back into the house. Ten tried several times to catch Johnny’s eye, but he seemed to be avoiding his gaze entirely.

Ten felt the familiar tightness building in his chest, anxiety making his breathing tighter.

He tried ignoring the feeling, draping his arms around Kun when he got close enough. “Kun! How are you doing,” he asked brightly.

Kun gave him a questioning look, but played along. “I’m fine. Surprise you’re not hiding from all light and noise though.” He grinned at Ten’s offended expression.

“I told you, it’s not like high school anymore, I didn’t even drink that much!” Ten muttered.

Kun laughed, smoothing Ten’s we hair out of his eyes. “You’re still a lightweight though, so at least that hasn’t changed. Don’t worry, it’s still cute.”

The conversation about how Ten is not a lightweight, thank you very much, his body is just smaller and therefore can absorb less alcohol and it’s unfair to judge him by tall people standards, continues as they make their way to the kitchen.

“I’m going to– go dry off. Is Jae still in the room?” Johnny asked.

Taeyong made a noise of affirmation before downing an aspirin, the hangover clearly much worse for him than it had been for Ten. He looked like he regretted ever being born.

Johnny headed off to the room where Jaehyun was sleeping, presumably where he’d left his towel, completely avoiding Ten’s attempt to smile in his direction.

His stomach tightened again, in fear of what he could have done, where did he go too far? He'd thought Johnny had been having fun too, but maybe he was embarrassed that they’d been caught?

“Doyoung, do you have an extra hand towel or something I can use to dry off my hair?” Ten asked, trying to distract himself.

Doyoung looked up from where he was fiddling with the coffee machine, and nodded. “Yeah, in that second room.” He gestured down in the hall in the same direction Johnny had gone.

Ten got up, walking quickly to avoid dripping on the floor as much as possible, finding a hand towel folded neatly on the dresser, because Doyoung is nothing if not meticulous. He also grabbed a shirt, heading for the bathroom with vague thoughts of the hairdryer.

“…obviously not interested in me… when he danced like that last night…” Ten froze, ears straining as Johnny’s voice drifted from the closed door of the room he was in with Jaehyun.

“You’ve been pining for too long… ask…” Jaehyun replied, sounding frustrated.

“No, no, it’s obvious he’s with someone else–” the door of the room opened and Ten jerked backwards like he’d been hit, then turned quickly to run past them into the room Doyoung had set up, shutting the door behind him.

“Ten? Ten, what’s–” Johnny called after him, but Ten blocked him out, sitting on the ground by the bed and burying his head in his arms, fighting the tears that were rising in his eyes.

Because he was clearly talking about being in love with someone else. Because he said he wasn’t interested, and that his person had a boyfriend he didn’t want to compete with. And Ten had been nothing but obvious, clearly unattached and practically throwing himself at Johnny at every chance.

It was probably Taeyong. Taeyong, who was beautiful and angelic and worth every adoring look and bright smile someone like Johnny would have thrown his way. Taeyong, who was clearly in love with Doyoung– practically together, like Johnny had said.

And it shouldn’t hurt, not when he’s known all along that he couldn’t possibly think of him like that, but it hurt so much, because he’d let himself dream about having something real and sweet and wonderful, and suddenly it felt like even the hope of that had been ripped out from under his feet.

“Ten?” Taeyong’s voice comes through the door, hesitant and worried. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ten said, biting back the sob building in his throat. “I’m just– I’m not feeling well.”

There’s a pause. “Bullshit.” Taeyong said, clear and loud through the door. Hearing Taeyong swear was like a shock to his system– he only swore when things were getting serious. “I know what you sound like when you’re trying not to cry. I’m coming in.”

When Ten doesn’t object, the door to the room flies open, and Taeyong marches in, closely followed by Kun, who shuts it behind them.

“Oh,” Taeyong breathed, spotting Ten sitting on the floor. “Oh, Ten, it’s going to be okay,”

And that’s the final straw, really. Here was his wonderful, beautiful, perfect best friend, taking time out of his own vacation to deal with Ten’s bullshit. He can’t stop himself from crying, hiding his face in his knees and sobbing, deep and from his chest.

Taeyong sat next to him, one arm hugging him around the waist and the other rubbing circles into his back. Ten leaned into his touch, trying to stop crying because he was so pathetic, he shouldn’t be wasting his friend’s time.

“Taeyong, it’s fine.” He mumbled when he could draw enough breath to speak. “I’m just being dramatic, you guys can go. I’ll be out soon.”

“Not until you explain what made you so upset.” Taeyong said firmly. “I know you, Ten. You wouldn’t be like this if you weren’t really hurting.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” Ten said, whispering. “I’m just being stupid.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” Taeyong asked, voice still sweet and gentle.

“Because you’re you!” Ten finally gasped out, trying to fight a second bout of tears. “Because you’re Taeyong, you’re so beautiful and wonderful and sweet and everyone love you, as they should because you’re perfect. You deserve everything but I see the way everyone looks at you and god just for one day, I want to be you.”

“No, no, Tennie,” Taeyong crooned, his hands reaching in to cup Ten’s tear-stained cheeks. “Oh, Ten,” Taeyong breathed.

Ten tried to pull away. “I’m sorry, I told you it’s stupid.” Taeyong drew him closer, wiping at his tears with his thumbs.

“No, Ten, just– do you know how beautiful you are?” Taeyong asked, his voice thick with emotions too.

“Apparently not enough.” Ten said, voice hoarse from sobbing.

“When we first met, all those years ago, I was so amazed that you wanted to talk to me. You were never shy, you were never afraid of how people saw you. Even when we came to college I wanted nothing more than to be exactly like you.” Taeyong said, laughing a little bit. “God, Tennie, you’re amazing. You care about people so deeply, you make people happy when they talk to you, but you don’t take shit from anyone.”

Taeyong was crying now too, hands still on Ten’s face, looking him directly in the eyes as if daring him to try and claim that he was lying. “Ten, you deserve to be loved and adored. You deserve someone looking at you like you’re the entire world because you are wonderful. And on top of that, let’s face it, you’re sexy as hell.” Ten giggled a little at the last bit.

Ten looked back at Taeyong, no longer crying but feeling raw and spent.

“I love you, Yongie,” Ten said, quiet, the words meant just for his best friend. “You’re an angel.”

Taeyong wrapped his arms around Ten, and Ten buried his face in his shoulder, his raw edges heal, a little bit.

Kun came to sit next to them, not encroaching on their moment, but giving Ten a soft smile when they finally pulled apart.

“Ten, even back then– you have to know I loved you? Maybe I didn’t express it properly, but I was in love with you, because you were so easy to love. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Kun said softly. “I fell out of love with you because we both grew up, but please don’t say you don’t deserve to be adored.”

“Really?” Ten hated how vulnerable his voice sounded.

Kun opened his arms, and Ten shifted towards him, falling into his hug. He’d missed this– he’d missed Kun so much.

When they pulled apart, Ten rubbed at his face, trying to hide the red rimmed eyes from his crying jag.

“Okay, I have to ask now, was this about Johnny?” Taeyong asked, careful but clearly curious.

“Um,” Ten coughed. “Yeah, I might have overheard him talking to Jaehyun about how he’s interested in someone.”

Kun arched an eyebrow in his direction. “And that someone isn’t you? You should have seen how he was looking at you when you came and hugged me this morning, I though he was going to burn a hole in the back of my head.”

Ten sighed. “it’s definitely not me, I’ve been so obvious, there’s no way he’d think I wasn’t interested.”

Taeyong shrugged. “I mean, I don’t know Ten, he could just be oblivious.”

“Just– let’s drop it? I’m going to be okay, I promise.” Ten said.

Taeyong stood up, smiling at him, and offering a hand to help Ten up. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

When Ten was on his feet, Taeyong hugged him tight, one more time, and Ten smiled. Maybe he was adored. Just a little.

* * *

When he emerged from the bathroom, washing his face to try and remove all evidence that he’d been crying his eyes out a few minutes ago, he found Johnny, standing against the wall in the hallway looking uncertain and worried.

“Ten?” He said, as soon as he emerged. “Can we– could be talk?”

Ten chewed his lip, trying not to let his anxiety take over, but eventually nodded. He followed Johnny into the room Ten had just been crying in a few minutes ago.

Ten turned to face him once Johnny had shut the door, looking up into his face, trying to hold onto the confidence and happiness Taeyong and Kun had given him.

“What’s up?” Ten tried out, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Um, I just– I wanted to apologize, if I ever made you uncomfortable?” Johnny said, worrying his lip now too as he watched Ten’s face for a reaction.

Ten furrowed his brows in confusion, waiting for Johnny to continue.

Johnny sighed, his slouched posture making him seem shorter than usual “I’ve been kind of– forward, maybe? I don’t know how to say it. But I know you’re with Kun and I just got carried away so I’m really sorry if–”

“Sorry, I’m what with Kun?” Ten said, something building in his chest again, except it wasn’t anxiety, it was hopeful and light and he needed Johnny to keep talking, right now.

“I knew you were dating Kun and I still flirted with you, so I’m– I’m really sorry. That’s all I wanted to get off my chest, I’m really sorry that I made you so uncomfortable.” Johnny said.

“I’m not dating Kun!” Ten said, too quickly and too loud.

“What?” Johnny said, blinking at him.

“We dated in high school but we broke up ages ago and now we’re just friends. You’ve been– what?” Ten said, all in one breath.

“Oh,” Johnny breathes looked Ten in the eyes.

“I’ve been interested in someone else.” Ten said, empathetically.

Johnny swallowed, still not moving, not doing anything.

“It’s you, if you were wondering. I’ve been in love with you for like a year and a half, you absolute asshole.” Ten said, grinning fiercely at Johnny.

A slow smile spreads across Johnny’s face. “Yeah? I’ve been into you since you first walked into that lecture looking like the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I cannot believe you thought I wasn’t interested.” Ten said, stepping closer to Johnny.

“You were so fucking beautiful and sweet and sexy, I didn’t even let myself hope.” Johnny whispered, putting his hands on Ten’s waist and god, that felt good, his hands were so big around him and he had to stop himself from thinking about the obscene things he could probably do with them.

“Have you seen yourself?” Ten gaped up at him. “Oh my god, do not move, I need to kiss your stupid face.”

Before Johnny could react, Ten reached up, standing on his toes, to wrap his arms around Johnny’s neck. Then, in one quick movement, he jumped, wrapping his legs around Johnny.

Johnny stumbled a bit, clearly not expecting that, but then his hands came to rest under Ten’s thighs, fingers gripping him tightly.

They were nose to nose, and Ten smiled. “Hi. Kiss me now, please.”

And that’s exactly what Johnny did, tilting his head and capturing his lips, Ten wrapping his arms tighter as Johnny backed him into a wall, holding him steady as they moved furiously against each other, Johnny licking tentatively into his mouth.

Ten felt almost lightheaded with joy, caught up in the taste of Johnny and feeling so safe, so adored and treasured and so happy.

There was a sound next to him and he didn’t pay attention until he heard a familiar voice.

“Oh come on!” Doyoung screeched, having opened the door to come check on them “Really?”

Johnny and Ten broke apart, Ten resting his head oh Johnny’s shoulder when he turned to look at Doyoung, giggling.

“I hate you both so much.” Doyoung said, hands over his eyes as he backed out of the room “I was going to say come eat but I think I’m going to go throw up now.”

Johnny let Ten back down to the ground gently, still smiling, his lips looking a bit swollen and shiny.

Ten intertwined their fingers, smiling back as they walked back to where their friends were. And yeah, maybe he did get to be adored. Just a little bit.

**Author's Note:**

> The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life! Remember to separate fiction from reality folks.
> 
> -
> 
> I really don't know what to tell you, I don't think this is very good but I'm just a sucker for mutual pining and the johnten dynamic is cute.
> 
> If you liked it please let me know! I'm considering writing something from Johnny's point of view, and I might have plans for dotae in this universe so let me know if you'd be interested in seeing that?


End file.
